I’ve been doing a ton of self discovery work lately. I’ve learned more about myself during this time than I have in my entire life. I’ve always had an interest in human behavior and how the brain works. Only recently have I made the connection between my own experiences and behaviors. I did this personality test for fun and ended up learning some interesting stuff. I am thankful for this level of self awareness.
There are parts of me that I have suppressed for many years. Some deep digging into dark territory must be done. I don’t like talking about it and there is resistance. But to begin healing, I have to. This year I will open up this door.
Earlier this year I came to the realization that I was living a surface level life. It was routine. I did things because I felt like I had to. I fell into an unfulfilling cycle and wasn’t grateful. There was a problem and I wanted change. I made the decision to be present all of the time. A commitment to making intentional decisions and making my life a purposeful one.
Things are turning around. I have a long way to go, but I’m beginning to feel better with the changes I am making. Slow and steady wins the race.
Part of my goal of being intentional is to be more honest. So here it goes. I’ve been with my partner for almost five years. We are heading towards marriage. But I am still a single mom. It’s not something that just goes away. I know a lot of single moms would like to hear a different story. Something like a fairytale. But for me, this just isn’t the case.
When another mom tells me how lucky I am, I have to ask them why they feel that way. Do they believe the single parent feelings will cease? I hate to break it to you, but they will not. Let me explain.
It’s 2017 and here we are. We made it! A new year with new opportunities. A symbolic chance to start fresh. I am committed to making better financial decisions in 2017.
I chose the personal themes of purpose and frugality for 2017— the areas that need the most work. I will be 27 and want to take responsibility for my finances. I am challenging myself to a year of decreased consumption. It won’t be easy and some behavioral changes have to take place.