I want to be honest about single motherhood. So here it goes. I’ve been with my partner for almost five years. We are heading towards marriage. But I am still a single mom. It’s not something that just goes away. I know a lot of single moms would like to hear a different story. Something like a fairytale. But for me, this just isn’t the case.
When another mom tells me how lucky I am, I have to ask them why they feel that way. Do they believe the single parent feelings will cease? I hate to break it to you, but they will not. Let me explain.
When my partner and I began dating, I knew right away this time was different. He wasn’t like the others. As cliche as it seems, I knew he was the one. I don’t actually believe in this concept, but that’s a different story for a different day. He immediately adopted a nurturer’s role. That’s just the type of person he is. A natural provider.
There is no need to sugarcoat that we do not share a child. No amount of love and financial support will make it so. There will always be a line of separation there. Something that we will not experience together. Something we will never connect on. Even if we have children, there will always be one child we do not parent together.
There is no such thing as, “treating her as if she’s his own.” Because he doesn’t. He respects the fact that my daughter and I had a life before he came along. He knows my daughter is her own person and is aware that he is not her biological dad. And she is too. He puts her and I’s relationship on a pedestal. That is what makes their love unique. My partner will never be her dad and that’s fine.
You don’t have to overcompensate for an absent parent by attempting to make someone else fill that role. I want my child to be able to speak freely about her biological dad without feeling guilty. Having this realistic view of our situation has made our family stronger. Our differences are what make us who we are.
With all that being said, I am very thankful to have found an awesome human to spend my life with. It really is priceless.